That Same Old Nightmare
by lovelesslybeloved
Summary: Lovino doesn't really understand whats going on but Antonio is acting strange and its terrifying Lovino.


Lovino can't really seem to recall where he is in this moment. It's foggy and it looks like a field and for some reason he can't remember he feels unbelievably alone and sad. Almost…abandoned. He looks around trying to remember what he was doing here or where he was. He is simply wearing a white dress shirt and black pants. Nothing note worthy. His dress shoes are a bit scuffed from apparently walking to this place but no permanent damage to the shoes, which was mildly important.

Hearing something in the distance, Lovino turns around trying to hear where it's coming from. Nothing around here looked familiar, and Lovino couldn't even honestly say he remembered where he had been before he found himself here. It was scary and creepy that he just simply found himself here. Finally a figure appeared in the fog and Lovino squinted to see who it was. Dark hair… tall… a moment later and the figure was close enough to see who it was.

"Antonio?" Lovino asked puzzled, "Where are we? What are you doing here?"

Antonio smiled sadly and came a bit closer, "Look at you Lovi! You're so big now I hardly recognized you!" he cried.

Puzzled looks crossed Lovino's face as he shook his head, "What are you talking about? You saw me yesterday! We live together now."

Antonio didn't seem to follow and simply continued to step closer till they were a few feet apart. "I'm sorry Lovino."

"Sorry for what I don't understand what's going on!" Lovino yelled shaking his head confused beyond belief, what was going on with Antonio?

"I'm dead Lovino." The words were simple and harsh and unbelievable in that moment.

Lovino laughed, shaken and denying the statement, "That's not possible. You're right here, how could you be?"

"I wasn't strong enough to protect you. I'm sorry Lovino. I wish I had more time." Antonio can't even smile anymore, small heavy tears leak silently from his eyes.

"Antonio…please…I…Don't go." Lovino shook his head, his own tears flowing at seeing the Spaniard cry. Antonio never cried and Lovino didn't understand if this was some sick joke or what.

"Lovino I'm sorry" Antonio repeated and Lovino moved forward and hugged Antonio tightly. He felt real and he felt alive. Lovino clutched to Antonio hoping that if he managed to hold onto him then maybe he wouldn't disappear.

Lovino clutched at Antonio and held on to him tightly. Gently, Antonio's hands found Lovino's head and hair and stroked through the strands considerately. The moister and heat between them intensifies a bit, but its all sadness and none of the passion and tension that usually flowed between them like lava. He still didn't understand and even if this was a joke it was a cruel one and Lovino didn't feel like he could laugh this off, to try make Antonio to be serious. Lovino clutched at Antonio, crying softly into his chest as Antonio curled over him, his nose in Lovino's hair.

"I'm sorry Lovino I have to go now." Antonio murmured and pulled back from Lovino a bit.

Lovino just clutched to Antonio harder shaking his head, crying harder, "Please don't leave me Antonio."

Slowly Antonio starts to fade and at first Lovino thinks it's just his vision blurring. But then Antonio is almost see-through. 

"Stay strong Lovi! Protect the people you hold dear." Lovino would never forget those words that Antonio uttered. Not because they were important but because they were the last and it was the second time he heard them.

Antonio was gone now and Lovino fell forward on his hands and knees in weakness and abandon. Lovino can't remember the last time he felt so alone- No. Wait, he can remember. His grandfather, years and years ago had uttered if not the same words then incredibly similar words. Somehow…somehow this similarity seals in the reality of the situation. Lovino feels so broken. How could Antonio leave him?!

"You PROMISED!" he shouted to the void. "YOU SWORE YOU'D NEVER LEAVE ME! YOU SWORE YOU'D NEVER LEAVE ME LIKE MY GRANDFATHER HAD!"

Lovino shook his head as he settled back to tears again. "But you lied…..you lied…." He mumbled despairingly. 

His eyes open and he had a startling feel as he lay in bed, with early morning sun just barely breaking through the window. Tears were pouring down the sides of his face and into his hairline. He looked to his left and Antonio lay there sleeping peacefully unaware. A silent gasp of air came from Lovino as he shook his head a bit in disbelief. He darted forward and grasped at Antonio, shaking silently as he cried into the Spaniard's chest. 

The startle of moment awoke Antonio and he grumbled a moment before he felt his small Italian against him shaking. 

"Lovi? What's wrong? Did you have a nightmare?" Antonio asked sleepily. It had been years but Antonio was familiar with Lovino's nightmares.

Lovino couldn't reply but simply nodded his head once as he cried harder. Maybe another moment he could make words but right now he needed to hold Antonio and feel him there, breathing, alive, and strong against him. 

Antonio nodded quietly and simply allowed Lovino to cry against him. It was the easiest way to handle it. Finally after a few more tears, Lovino sniffled and seemed willing to speak though he stayed firmly pressed to Antonio.

"I hate my grandfather," he murmured against Antonio's bare chest, "If…If you EVER leave me…I… I will hate you too." Lovino murmured finally.

Antonio's green eyes widened a moment but softened and nodded slowly. "I won't go anywhere Lovi. I promise. I survived this long and as long as my little Lovi needs me I don't plan to go anywhere anytime soon." Antonio winked softly and Lovino nodded slowly himself.

Eventually the tears stopped and their holds loosened enough that the holds turned to gentle caresses. Then finally the early morning hours took their toll and the two men fell back asleep, still firmly entwined together, reassuringly.

-  
Just a little something I typed up to help cheer up my Espana. ;)


End file.
